Teaching Children to Work

My good mother grew up on a fruit farm, so she learned to work at a young age, and she learned to work hard.  I can't express how grateful I am that she taught her daughters to work. My sister Kelli remembers learning to use the washing machine and dryer at the age of 5. We always had a "list," and I KNOW that we are better people because of it (You said I'd thank you one day, Mom... so THANK YOU!) Strangely, my Mom took a bit of heat from some people because she actually expected her kids to do housework, but those people's children went to college and didn't know how to do their own laundry. One newly-wed couple I know went to eat every dinner at her parents house for the first two years of marriage, because the young bride didn't know how to cook. The point is - teaching my children the value of work, and how to be responsible, functioning adults is a high priority to me.

So, when this book was published in 2005, I snatched up a copy IMMEDIATELY.
It has a plan... THE PLAN.

I've heard this book described as "the instruction manual that the hospital should give you when your child is born!" The fact remains that teaching kids to work is actually a lot harder than just doing it yourself. It takes more effort, more patience, and more time, but that's what being a great parent is all about. And I love, Love, LOVE having a great plan to work from.

Sister Boyack (Mother of 4 sons) paints a clear picture of how children gain real self-esteem and confidence by being able to do things on their own.

She says, "Let's begin with the end in mind. Pull out a piece of paper and write on it, "How I want my children to turn out... What basic things do you want your children to know and be? Write at least five main goals or results. This part of The Plan is absolutely crucial. You will be spending many hours of many days doing things that seem trivial or pointless, and you have to have the end goal firmly in mind to get yourself through them. So when you're teaching your daughter for the umpteenth time how to thoroughly clean a toilet, you can say to yourself, "We're training an independent adult here, THIS IS IMPORTANT." Besides, just think how desirable your kids will be! Trust me, they'll be irresistible! I already have parents lining up their daughters for my sons because they know they can take care of a car, whip up a meal, garden, and clean the blessed toilet!"

The Plan breaks things down by age from Three Years Old to Eighteen Years Old.

Samples from The Plan:

Six Years Old	Ten Years Old	14-15 Years Old
Take Shower	Do own laundry completely	Do basic interior decorating
Dust	Set personal goals	Understand basic food storage
Load Dishwasher	Play Musical Instrument	Memorize Social Security number
Empty Dishwasher	Maintain personal journal	Understand and use a debit card
Clean Sinks	Participate in exercise program	Learn interest, debt, securities
Run Microwave	Rent videos	Learn about make-up (girls!)
Water Plants	Clean stove & oven	Identify business skills to get experience with  sales
Make/Answer Phone Calls	Make several salads	Learn basic civics & politics
	Understand basic nutrition	Accompany a parent to vote
	Use a leaf blower	Perform thorough car detailing
	Plant plants	Change flat tire.
	Place a collect call
	Use a pay phone
	Know Articles of Faith

The plan is flexible, you can cater it to your families needs and values, but boy, DOES IT GET YOU THINKING!!! A couple of years ago, I typed up The Plan, tweaked it for our family, and made a copy for each child to use as a check list for keeping us on track.

The book offers tips on how to train the kids, how long it takes them to learn, when to train, by whom (you don't have to do it all yourself,) and how to dump your guilt and just get to it.  I really like that part because this last year with toddler Jared, Matt starting his own business, and the kids all going to a new school, have knocked us a bit off course.  But blogging like this helps me refocus, and I'm already feeling very motivated to get us back on The Plan. ; D

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Breakthrough