Kids say the darndest things...

When I was growing up, my Mom would sometimes call a child or an object by the wrong name and then laugh it off and say, "I got my Mords Wixed up!" I always loved that joke. We get our words mixed up a lot around here. These are a few from the past week:

The Scene: Tuesday morning and I just got everyone except Max and Jared out the door to school.

Max: Mom, can I watch that new cartoon?
Me: No bud, we have some things we need to do and the show isn't on right now.
Max: But Mom! I really want to watch it!
Me: I understand that, but that cartoon is only on TV on Saturday morning.
Max: (VERY serious now) But mom, it's a-poh-priate.
Me: (chuckling) Yes... the cartoon is appropriate, but that still doesn't change the day of the week.

The Scene: We're watching a DVD and the leading couple meet at a beautiful little French Cathedral to speak with the priest before their wedding.

Zach sees the building a exclaims, "Oh! Its a Cathadelic church!"
Me: I think you mean Catholic, Zach
Zach: That's what I said, "Catholodelic"
Matt: No, Zach, just Cath-o-lic
Zach: Oh!

The Scene: A quiet moment with Zach where I can ask him about how he's adjusting to his new school.

Me: So Zach, have you been getting to know some more people at school? Do you feel like you're making new friends?
Zach: Yea, actually I have.
Me: Well that's great! What are their names.
Zach: Hmmm... I don't really know... but I know they're Republicans!
*I really had to laugh over that one. Where does he get this stuff? 

The Scene: Max is waiting on the porch for me to come unlock the door after his soccer game.

Max: Mom? (He's stops and is trying to think of the right word) Can I push this ??? Ding-dong thing?

The Scene: Max had been rebelling at the prospect of making his bed, but now he's on task, and I notice he's doing a very nice job.

Me: Max your bed is really looking great.
Gabe: (peeks over the top bunk) Wow, Max! It really does look great.
Max: Yah, Gabe. I have Skeells! I have some REALLY good SKEELLS!
Gabe: Max, you're funny
Max: That means I'm her-larious. Funny is herlarious and herlarious is funny.

I have to agree with Max. I think my kids are HER-LARIOUS!

Carnival

Posted by Matt,

What do you think when you hear the word "carnival"? A large cruise ship? Mardi-gras parades? Small-town city fairs with a tilt-a-world and merry-go-rounds that cost 5 tickets each?

Those are certainly fine definitions. I tend to think of carnival as a time when my wife becomes absorbed in a vortex of volunteerism--as she has this year while helping out with the school carnival.

Let's face it. All of you know my wife. I married Wonder Woman, bracers, tiara and all. And everyone else in the community quickly figures this out too--they know how creative she is; how responsible she is and how she just 'gets thing done'. And even though her work on the school website fulfills more than enough of the volunteer hours the school expects, my wife finds it in her heart to give more during school carnival week.

All this, while simultaneously:

• Shuttling three boys to-and-from soccer practices and games during the week.
  
• Helping 3 kids with homework. Yeah, I know it sounds easy when I say it that way, but think about it: three kids all needing constant reminders, checking that they're doing it right, keeping them on task. Oh and keeping them on task. And again, keeping them on task--you get the picture.
• Reading books to the kids 30 minutes a day. And liking it, despite age-specific content that makes one fall asleep.
  
• Cleaning our home with a vacuum that doesn't suck--which ironically, makes it suck badly. We have such bad vacuum karma! Any recommendations on vacuums that last more than two years?
  
• Wrestling a squirmy 9-month old who gets into everything and slows down everything you do. Especially writing blog posts.
  
• Doing it alone half the time when I have to travel or become consumed with work.
• And many, many, many, many more things.
  

You'll read any number of funny, cute, and touching stories about our kids on this blog. Perhaps even an occasional anecdote about me. But you'll likely never see the great story that goes on behind the scenes every day as my wife takes care of our family. So while I sometimes feel frustrated knowing that carnival or other volunteer efforts take up my wife's extra time, I realize it's a package deal. As Scott might say, I knew what she was when I picked her up. She sees what needs to be done and does it--consistently.

Her only weakness is that she shares her gmail account password with me, inadvertently giving me access to the blog. I'm pretty certain that will be corrected tomorrow.

And that's the story-you-won't-see-on-the-blog. The one I'm lucky enough to be part of each day.

Aliens and young love...

The cooling weather must be imitating spring because love is in the air, and Cupid's arrow is aimed at Max (age 4)...

I'm driving Max to his soccer game and he's telling me about his friends at school.

Max: Mom, I've got two best friends... no THREE best friends.
Me: That's great, what are their names. (I'm thinking Tanner and Jon and who else?)
Max: Savannah... Tanner... and Jon
Me: Savannah, huh? (Who's Savannah? And she even got top billing!)
Max: (starts giggling) Mom, I've got to tell you something... I'm in loooove with Savannah.
Me: What? Why do you say you're in love with Savannah?
Max: Because she kissed me.
Me: (shocked laugh) What? Max you're too young to be kissing girls
Max: Well, Jaden told her to do it so she kissed me on the lips, and I kissed her on the cheek.
Me: Does your teacher know about this?
Max: No!
Me: Well what does Savannah look like?
Max: hmm... She has blackish-purplish hair
Me: Are you sure about that? That's a pretty unusual hair color.
(and I haven't seen any punked-out preschoolers scamper out of the school.)
Me: Well, what color are her eyes?
Max: Hmmm? I don't know. I think they're red
Me: Are we talking about a little girl or an alien?
Max: (laughing) NO, she's not an alien! She's just a girl!
Me: Well all right. You'll have to let me meet her when I take you to preschool next time, okay?
Max: Okay, Mom
Me: And Max... friends are great, but I don't think there should be any kissing at preschool.
Max: Okay Mom. If Jaden tells her to kiss me, I'll just say,
"We're friends, but we don't have to kiss."
Me: That's a good plan. I really like that plan!

*Do you think that plan will work when he's 16? Hmm...?

Thanksgiving Point

The kids and I were on I-15 on our way to the last $2 Tuesday at Thanksgiving Point for the month of August.
(Seriously, don't you wish they would keep that going year round!)
I called my mom to talk about dinner plans for Sunday when she tells me that she, my Dad, Kim, and her kids are ALL on their way to the Point as we speak.
Fabulous! We meet up for ice cream and a walk in the gardens.

High Point: Running up the hill and rolling down again
Low Point: Losing Lauren and Gabe for a full 10 minutes
(the place is huge - serious ground to cover!)
New High Point: Finding Lauren and Gabe safe and sound.

Lauren made a special friend... I think he was hoping she'd give him a kiss.

Weekend Getaway

St. George, Utah
Here are the highlights of our trip over Labor day weekend. Matt had to fly in from California at a 11 pm Friday night to meet us, but he still couldn't get away from work. He worked that night for another hour and ended up having a meeting the next day - IN THE RIVER! You'll see a picture of him standing in the river talking to someone (just below.) They'd exchanged emails on Friday saying that they needed to talk, and then much to their surprise, they ran into each other at the mouth of the narrows and decided to hold a conference downstream! Hilarious!
*I'm experimenting with Collages in this post. Just click on one to see the pics up close.

Zion Canyon - Riverside Walk

Sweet Ride
Lauren drove the jeep home from the neighborhood pool but she picked up a couple of hitch-hikers. I don't think the jeep was meant to handle this many passengers and it started to die. So, the free loaders had to get out and push. Too cute.

Water Babies
These were taken on the splash pad at the park. This recipe for fun included 3 cousins, 5 siblings, 7 slides, and 100 gallons of water. I tried to interest Jared in the playground, but he only had eyes for the splash-pad. I plunked him down next to this spout and he had the TIME of HIS LIFE! Grandpa declared Jared the "winner" of the most fun.

What a great trip!
Special thanks to Grandma & Grandpa for the use of their vacation home.

Musical Max

For those who don't know this, Max is a singer.
He gives flare to everything he does by making his own theme music. I took this impromptu video this week while he had "Mulan" on the brain.
The picture is horrible but the singer's adorable!

Highs & Lows

I've always loved a good roller coaster ride - The Colossus at Lagoon was built when I was a kid and I begged my dad to take me on it. No matter how terrifying it appeared, I knew I wanted the feeling at the end of the ride that said, "Whew! I took that on and I'm still smiling!"
Life is such a roller coaster and this week had BIG highs and lows. Back-to-School week with 4 kids in three different school, back-to-school nights, two doctors appts., reading assessments, new carpools, canning classes, YM activities, soccer and piano lessons were just the ratta-tat-tat of the giant chain that hauled us to the precipice. I knew about those before the week started. It's the unplanned loops that brought the literal thrills and spills of the ride...
HIGHS / LOWS

• Zach gets into the charter school and the  uniform shop extends their hours just to help us outfit him (with a discount!)
• Lauren has a cold, but is determined not to miss her first day of school.
• We learn that Iona's battle with cancer is worsening & her pain level has her on morphine.
• My mom takes Max, Jared and me to lunch - Thanks again, Mom.
• Matt learns he'll be traveling for the next three weeks - during the whole soccer season when I have 3 little boys on 3 different teams. Aaarrrggh!
• Max floods the boys’ bathroom, which floods the stairwell, which sends runoff along the vents to Matt's office and rains toilet water on his HP laptop and breaks it.

Me: Max how much toilet paper did you use?

Max: (like a deer in the headlights) a million???

Me: (in my crazed mommy voice) Go to your room!

• The new SteamVac (my birthday/mother's day present)  is a huge help in cleaning up the flood.
• Matt ordered his MacBook Pro for $200 off and they threw in a free iTouch (for me!)
• I'm really glad I didn't beat Max. ;D
• Jared catches the cold. He's miserable and I'm painfully sleep deprived.
• The kids are all having a great first week of school (Zach is adjusting like a champ & Lauren is feeling perfect by Friday morning.)

• Matt let me sleep in on Saturday morning while he worked on yard projects - I LOVE HIM!
• Matt lost his wallet at Walmart.
• After hours of searching, someone finds the wallet and turns it in with nothing missing -YEA!
• Matt makes arrangements to fly to California early Sunday morning so he can spend some time with his grandparents.
• Matt is getting a new work laptop on Monday - he really wanted one before the flood damage so he's quite happy about how everything worked out.

Our family scripture study for this week has been about Joseph of Egypt and we've focused on how Joseph's faith and the hand of the Lord helped turn terrible hardships into blessings. It's so clear that our blessings out shine our misfortunes by far.

The ride of the week included screams of joy and terror, but the point is... we're still SMILING!

Jare-Bear @ 9 months

This cute little chub had his 9 month check-up this morning and I'm paying homage to his adorableness. Top 10 Things we love about Jare-Bear at this age:

1. That Cheeser Grin (especially the English split in his front teeth) - His fifth tooth is half-way in and more are on the way.

2. His silky fluff - weighing in at 22 lbs and 30 inch tall, he's in the 75th percentile for weight and the 90+ percentile for height. Tongue in cheek, the doctor called him "tall and skinny" because he's proportionately taller than his weight. Hilarious!

3. That thumb sucking - everywhere we go, people comment on how he LOVES that thumb.

4. His curiosity and energy - EVERYTHING fascinates him and he's so enthusiastic about it! He makes me really look at the world around me in a fresh new light.

5. His sweet smell - it doesn't matter if I can smell lotion, soap or the cereal he just ate, he just makes everything smell sweet. I think that's why the mosquitoes liked him so much too. ;D

6. Jared may have potential to be a Medium - he's channeling Donald Duck. Imagine Donald in a full fit of temper... scream-quacking unintelligibly, fist-flailing and furious and then superimpose that image on our chubby-cheeked cherub. Personally, I can't even make these sounds and I am totally mystified by how my baby does it. He's actually cheerful and angelic 99% of the time, but once in a while that temper FLARES. Too funny!

7. Rolling... & Rolling... & Rolling


8. The way he lights up when he first sees any of us or even our pictures.

9. His fabulous eyelashes that go on for miles.

10. His easy-going nature - if we just keep him close, he's content. So so good!

We're so glad you came to our family, Jared. In nine months time, we can hardly remember life before you, and our family would seem incomplete without you. Hugs & Kisses Babe

The Secret Bush ('Loyalties' part 2)

Can I just say that MY kids really know how to pick a secret bush - SERIOUSLY!

Some parents have bumper stickers that say, "My kid is an honor student," but I'm considering a sticker that says "My Kids have the Coolest Secret Bush."

I began the hunt for the secret bush by interrogating the Junior Officers -I knew they'd crack.

And I didn't even have to go Jack Bauer on 'em. I just said, "Hey guys, so, where's the secret bush?" And they couldn't have been more eager to show it to me.

Huge bush... built in lighting... a hidden alcove for private conferences... there's even an escape hatch...It's AWESOME!

Zach finally consented to let me see the bush and write about it - Thanks bud.

I could tell YOU where it is... but then I'd have to kill you. Instead I'll just show you the pictures ;D

Shout it from the rooftops!

Sing HALLELUJAH!
Zach just got accepted into the long awaited charter school!
Zach and I were literally at the local elementary where he was having his reading assessment. I'd left the baby at home under Lauren's care (with Matt in his office for help.) We'd been at the school for 55 minutes, and to my surprise, Matt steps through the classroom door out of breath and says, "Candace, can I speak with you for a minute."

I'm thinking, "Oh NO! Something must have happened to Jared."
When I step into the hall, Matt is smiling and says, "I just got off the phone with the charter school principal and they have enough openings for Zach! They want him to start school tomorrow, but I thought you should know so you could finish up here and get him transferred."

I am down-right giddy! I was able to pull it together and thank the teacher for her time and explain that we needed to go begin the transfer process for Zach.

As Zach and I walked to the van, Zach said out of the blue, "This just goes to show that Heavenly Father is answering our prayers."

Amen.

We have been so blessed! I feel like Lauren and Zach were blessed by their teachers at the local school this last year, and Lauren is continuing to be watched over there. But this opportunity for Zach is just in the nick of time because I think 3rd grade is a really critical transition year. OH I'm so excited! I need to stop gushing now, but we just couldn't be happier or more thankful to our loving Heavenly Father who REALLY does answer prayers.

Loyalties

Apparently Matt's business classes are rubbing off on my children - they understand brand loyalty TOO well. For example, when Max got a scooter for his birthday, he proclaimed, "It's a scooter! And it's in the Razor family!" You need to understand that Max is convinced that his 3-wheeled 'hot wheels' scooter is inferior and not nearly as fast as his brothers'. Try as he might, he could just never keep up with them.

Some time later as the boys were examining their "razors," they lined up with their scooters in the carport and had this discussion...

Max: "Look guys, I'm in the Razor Family!"
Zach: "Yah, they match."
Gabe: "Except for the handles: Zach's is black, mine is red and Max's is blue."
Max: "Uh-oh guys! Lauren's doesn't match."
Zach: "Her scooter may not be WORTHY to be in the Razor family..."

(I guess a scooter that's hot pink, covered with flowers and says Barbie is questionable.)

Gabe: "Hmm.... MEETING AT THE SECRET BUSH!"

(And they all race down the sidewalk on their scooters. Later on...)

Mom: So, did you decide to let Lauren in the Razor family?
Zach: Yah, but we have keep an eye on her.

( I guess blood is thicker than brand loyalty.)

Mom: Okay, next question... where is the secret bush?
Zach: I can't tell you...
Mom: Is it the rosebush next door?
Zach: No...
Mom: Zach, tell me... I'm going to find out where it is.
Zach: Well if you do, I'll just change it.

What's that movie line???
"...Don't ever take sides against the family. Ever."
Don't ever take sides against the Mommy, Zach! Oh yes, I will find the secret bush.

To be continued...

Farewell to Summer

For our "Farewell to Summer" weekend, we packed in the fun:

Friday: "Night at the Museum II" wrestling a giant squid (and I'm not talking about the one in the movie - Jared grew four more limbs and tried to eat me alive.) We came home to a power outage and had our family devotional by the light of the candelabrum in the fireplace . The kids loved it.

Saturday: Breakfast with Gabe, Max, J-Bear, Gma Hunny and the my sisters at Mimi's Cafe while Matt, Lauren and Zach went golfing in the rain for the family Memorial Golf Tournament. Next, we snuggled up at the house reading books and watching videos until the sun came out that afternoon. Then we dashed the pool which we had all to ourselves (seriously, the lifeguards outnumbered the swimmers) We jumped off the diving board and slid down the water slides (with NO WAIT!) Kudos to Lauren for finally jumping off the diving board (and liking it!) We played sharks and minnows and dashed home for dinner and dry clothes. Lastly, we took the kids on a hike to the 'Y' and watched the sun setting over Utah Lake.

One of my favorite moments: On the hike down, Max's legs were finally giving out - remember, he has to take two steps for every one of mine - and I had awkwardly put the backpack on my front and was giving Max a piggyback ride down the mountain. Gabe was 25 yards ahead of us, but when he saw what I was doing he turned around and sprinted up to us.

Me: Hi Gabe, would you mind carrying the backpack?
Gabe: It would be an honor.
*I love that funny, thoughtful boy!

Sunday: After Church we had a fabulous fondue dinner - Matt is an artist with cheese.
We talked about our favorite things of the summer and then Matt gave father's blessings to each of the kids. They were just what each family member needed to hear (including a concerned Mom.)

What a great finale! And I'm just loving my wonderful family. I have to take a moment to note all the things I'll miss...

I'll miss the weekly trips to the pool and the movies, taking the kids to the zoo, the museum, and going on our Grandma Hunny field trips. I'll miss the random things like finding swimming goggles in the freezer, the kids shoes in my bed and action figures in the dryer or lashed to the legs of the bar stools. Mostly I'll just miss my sweet lambs. Here's to a great new school year!

ultrasound continued...

"It's a girl," the tech says.

Matt's fists shoot into the air with a victory cry!  (He loves to be right.) 

Lauren is motionless.

"Did you hear that Lauren?" I ask, "She says she 90% certain it's a girl."

"Yah, I heard," she nods with a look of consternation. 

I can understand her misgivings. 

She's been lead astray by these "percentages" before.

"You see those three dots," the tech points out, "Well, that's a really strong indication that it's a girl."

I squint at the screen to see if it can be true.

Another girl?! 

I start picturing all the adorable little dresses and shoes that I pass by in the stores. 

I tell Matt that I want to "make do" with my old oversized maternity clothes, 

so I can spend the money shopping for a little girl.

Later that night, Lauren ask suspiciously, "Mom, are they really SURE it's a girl?"

Well, my sweet daughter, it's either a girl or we've got our THIRD false alarm.

If you've had an ultrasound and can make out this picture...

What do YOU think?

Tumbling Tumbleweed

My dad used to sing a song that went 'Where are you going, my little one... little one? Where are you going, my baby, my own?"

Ever since we returned from our trip to Yellowstone with the Wrights, Jared has been inspired by all of his crawling cousins, and he keeps going and going and going.

With that cute barrel of a belly, his preferred method of transportation is rolling, and he can travel far and wide. It must be a fun way to get around - I remember loving to roll down grassy hills as a kid - it just has one serious drawback...

No Steering!

It reminds of a quote from Dr. James Dobson; he described his son as "All afterburner and no rudder!"

And our Jare-bear keeps rolling himself into trouble. For instance, he rolled right up to the back of Grandpa's dining-room chair, and it's a good thing Grandpa noticed him before he scooted away from the table. He's been rolling up to the garbage cans, electrical cords and repeatedly under our bed (pictured), and then he squawks and squirms because he's got himself stuck.

Pardon me while I wax philosophical here, but he's got me thinking... How often have I done the same thing? We have weeks and months around here that are so filled with "Go! GO! GO!" that I don't look up often enough to make sure all this motion is in the right direction. For instance, I began this summer with the idea that we'd do the all same activities that we did last summer, and two weeks into it I realized that the plan just wouldn't work. We're a different family with little Jared among us, we had new commitments and the other kids needed to learn and grow in different ways than they did last year. So I stopped us in our tracks and had to remap a new route for these precious months together.

Now we're looking at the beginning of a new school year, and I find myself thinking about all that we've learned and done together and how grateful I am that I LOOKED UP and charted a new course. "Back-to-School" time is a great season for charting your course again, and I'm just wondering where the next journey will take us and what we should be shooting for.

How about you? What do you do to chart your course? Do you set goals? Make a check list? Pray? Go to the temple? What helps you feel like you're on the right track and not drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds?

The LONE Ranger

The scene: I'm fixing lunch and Maximus rides into the kitchen to make an announcement.

Max: Mom, I'm NEVER going on dates!

Me: Well, it will be a long time before your old enough to date so that's fine; but out of curiosity, what makes you say that?

Max: Because I do NOT want to kiss girls!

When I stop laughing...

Me: Well, just so you know. You don't HAVE to kiss the girl on your date. The purpose of a date is to get to know each other and have some fun together. You don't HAVE to kiss.

Max: Fffhhewff! That was a close one, mom!

Me: Yup! You dodged that bullet! But I think you'll probably want to go on date's one day, and you might even change your mind about kissing.

Max: Maaaayyybeee, but now...(with that Max mischievous smile) I'm just going to give kisses to my Sweet Mommy.

And the Lone Ranger rides over to give me a kiss and ride off into the sunset (or the living room...)

Ooooohhh! That boys just charms me to pieces! Heaven help the girl(s) he eventually does want to kiss because they are going to be in serious danger of falling for his charms!

Potty Mouth (cover your ears... or eyes?)

I should probably begin my blogging life with something wholesome like our celebration of Max's birthday, but I just can't resist this experience with Zach - it's the stuff that my hilarious life (and now blog) are made of...

The Scene: All the kids and I are in the van. We've just picked up Lauren and Zach from piano lessons and it's lunch time. (The fridge has dwindled down to condiments and frozen meat, but I have a grocery list in my purse, and I just need to feed the troops before hauling ALL FIVE kids to the store.)

ME: So, what do you guys want for lunch? Where should we go?
Zach: Pizza! (*he's a pizza junky)
ME: We just had pizza for dinner, bud.
Zach: Okay, Wendy's
Lauren: Let's go to Sonic
Gabe: Yah! Sonic!
Max: (begins chanting) Sonic! Sonic! Sonic! Sonic!
Gabe: (joins the chant) Sonic! Sonic!...
Lauren: (joins) Sonic! Sonic...

ME: Sorry, Zach, it looks like we're going to Sonic.
Zach: (Matter-of-factly) D..mm.
**Zach is sitting in the farthest corner of the van. I can barely hear over the chanting, but my maternal instincts tell me I should get some clarification.

ME: (very calmly) Zach, what was that you just said?
Zach: (casually hollers) damn.
*The chanting is really loud, but I think my son just swore - I must have heard him wrong.

ME: Stop the chanting, please! Zach... what did you just say?
*The chanting begins to dwindle.
Zach: (yells for my benefit) Daaaammmn!

Okay I definitely heard it that time - clearly, he doesn't know what he just said.

ME: Ok, Zach, that's a swear word, did you know that?
Zach: (sincerely) Oh, I'm sorry mom, I'm just not very good at this swearing thing.

I'm trying not to bust up laughing. What do you say to that? "It's okay, son, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it?" ... Focus, Candace

ME: Zach, we don't want to say that word, all right.
Zach: Ok, Mom
Gabe: What did he say?!
ME: He just said a swear word, but he didn't mean to
Gabe: Yah, but what did he say? I didn't hear it?!
Max: I didn't hear it either!
Gabe: What was the word?!!! I just don't know what the swear words ARE!

I realize I'm in this bizarre predicament where I have to TEACH my kids the swear word so they can NOT say it in the future.

ME: Ok kids, the word is "Damn"
Gabe: What?
ME: "Damn"
Lauren: He said "damn," Gabe
ME: (oh great! now Lauren is swearing) Ok, let's just stop saying the word now.
Max: But what was the word?!
Me: The word was "Damn"
Gabe: (chastens me with his perfect law-enforcement tone) Mom! Stop saying the word - you keep sweeaaaring!
ME: ALL RIGHT! We're are all done saying the word! Let's just get some lunch.

I'm happy to report that no one has said "THE WORD" since that time. Whew! Who says kids don't learn anything over the summer - we have very crucial vocabulary lessons.