Teaching Children about Appropriate Clothing

We've discussed principles of modesty a lot with our kids, and they understand those principles very well. In fact, they're quick to point out if someone on a show is not dressed modestly, and we'll change the program as needed. But I realized a few years ago that teaching about modesty didn't cover ALL of the principles my kids needed to know about appropriate dress.

Zach, for instance, has always had an obsession with sweat pants. We once told him to get dressed for a wedding reception, and that he needed slacks and a collared shirt. He proceeded to put on gray sweat pants and a bright yellow golf shirt, and then argued that his clothing matched our description! We've even had kids argue that their stained shirts or ripped jeans were, "Just Fine!" to wear to this family reunion or that birthday party.

Something had to be done.

I was watching an Education Week 'replay' on KBYU, and the guest speaker was talking about appropriate clothing for adults. To clarify her ideas about appropriate clothing she had categorized the clothing into "levels." She was identifying business formal vs. business casual, but I thought, "If levels can work for adults, why not for kids!"

I began thinking of the principles I wanted to teach. 

Clean.

Not Wrinkled.

Good Condition.

Appropriate for the Occasion. 

I put together a Family Home Evening lesson about appropriate clothing and these charts to identify the "Clothing Levels." I found a variety of pictures on the internet to create the charts you'll see at the bottom, and I also found pictures of people with different appearances. We began the lesson by showing the pictures of people and asking the kids, "What is your first impression of this person." 

Clean or dirty. Sloppy or neat. Trustworthy or scary. 

We discussed the fact that, like it or not, the way we present ourselves to the world does say things about us. We obviously need to care about people, regardless of appearances, but I want my kids to know HOW to put their best foot forward and feel confident about their appearance. And then I presented...

The Clothing Levels

Level 1

• Types of Clothing: Sweats, exercise clothes, collarless shirts, ragged or holey clothing, and 'gym' shoes.
• Occasions: Exercise, play, cleaning, yard work or other work projects.

Level 2

• Types of Clothing:  'Golf' shirts or other collared shirts (for boys,) more fashionable clothing (for girls) often worn in layers, jeans; clothing in good condition, not wrinkled, and nice but somewhat casual shoes.
• Occasion: School, parties, family outings.

Level 3

• Types of Clothing: Slacks, skirt (for girls,) button-down shirt or blouse (for girls,) sweater; clothing in good condition, pressed and a nice, dressier shoe.
• Occasion: School program or special occasion, wedding reception, nice family outing (concert or recital,) church.

Level 4

• Types of Clothing: Suit & tie (for boys,) nice dress & stockings (for girls,) good condition and pressed, worn with dress shoes.
• Occasions: Church, formal occasions (weddings, theater, etc.)

These charts hang near the closets in the kids bedrooms. 

They make a great reference tool when the kids are getting dressed.

To emphasize these principles, we'll discuss them when we attend different functions. What level are most of the people wearing? Would you feel out of place if you were in a level 1 here?  or Why don't we want to wear a level 4 to stain the playground?

We've had this system in place for several years now, and when it's time to get ready for something I can say, "We need everyone dressed in a level 3 or 4 for the wedding reception." And the kids understand what I mean - YAY!!!! Eliminating a lot of arguing and confusion.

The system has evolved over time. For instance, our kids wear school uniforms now, and their dress uniform is a 3.5, and their everyday uniforms are more like a 2.5. Zach still LOVES his 'comfy' clothes, so we'll accept a nice 'sporty' outfit for family outings.

You may have different views about what's appropriate for different occasions. Matt and I actually had to discuss this a lot to come to a consensus. However, this has a been a great tool for teaching our kids about the standards of dress we'd like to see in our family, and helping them "dress for the occasion."